Friday, March 30, 2007

Uncle Ben's dot com

Uncle Ben's dot com

He's still called Ben or Uncle Ben.

Read the Diary.

He signs his "letters" Uncle Ben.

Name: Uncle Ben
Hometown: Beaumont, Texas
Occupation: Chairman (Charman)
Year Sold First Rice: 1943
Years at the Top: A lot (b/c presumably he can't count, and doesn't need to, as long as he can cook & serve)
Packages Sold: Even more
Employees: Special, everyone
Global Offices: Absolutely

A sample Uncle Ben email:

"It may come as a surprise to you that – between my daily meetings, my Chairman functions and my everyday obligations running a worldwide rice company – I would have any time to take notice of exemplary employee behavior, but I do. In particular, I have been keeping a keen eye on the new young man working in the mail room. He is energetic, friendly and unusually prompt, all promotion-worthy attributes. Please make sure his paycheck envelope includes a complimentary coupon redeemable for a package of our delicious 90-second microwavable READY RICE®."

AS if the Chairman of the Board he is only concerned with rice, recipes, cooking, etc. How insulting.

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