Friday, March 30, 2007

Uncle Ben's dot com

Uncle Ben's dot com

He's still called Ben or Uncle Ben.

Read the Diary.

He signs his "letters" Uncle Ben.

Name: Uncle Ben
Hometown: Beaumont, Texas
Occupation: Chairman (Charman)
Year Sold First Rice: 1943
Years at the Top: A lot (b/c presumably he can't count, and doesn't need to, as long as he can cook & serve)
Packages Sold: Even more
Employees: Special, everyone
Global Offices: Absolutely

A sample Uncle Ben email:

"It may come as a surprise to you that – between my daily meetings, my Chairman functions and my everyday obligations running a worldwide rice company – I would have any time to take notice of exemplary employee behavior, but I do. In particular, I have been keeping a keen eye on the new young man working in the mail room. He is energetic, friendly and unusually prompt, all promotion-worthy attributes. Please make sure his paycheck envelope includes a complimentary coupon redeemable for a package of our delicious 90-second microwavable READY RICE®."

AS if the Chairman of the Board he is only concerned with rice, recipes, cooking, etc. How insulting.

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1 Comments:

At 12:39 AM, Blogger Melanoma in B&W said...

Dear Hysterical Blackness,

I am contacting you regarding a blog survey I am conducting. I am a Ph.D. candidate in Mass Communication at Penn State and my dissertation project consists of a survey that looks at bloggers’ perceived motivations for and effects of their blogging.

I am sending the survey to a number of bloggers, and I would like to invite you to participate in it as well. Participation should take approximately 15 minutes of your time. I would appreciate it tremendously if you would be willing to take the survey. If you decide to do so, please follow the link below:

http://www.personal.psu.edu/cds205/blog/signin.htm

I would be very happy to share the findings of my study with you once it is completed!

If you have any questions or comments, please don’t hesitate to contact me!

Thank you in advance,

Carmen

 

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